Going through a divorce can be an emotionally difficult time not only for the ex-partners but also for any children involved. Ensuring your children feel supported is crucial to limit any impact the event might have on their day-to-day lives. Everyone wants to be the best parent they can to their little ones and you should try your best to maintain this standard even when going through your own struggles.
Here are some things to consider so you can prioritise your children’s mental health and general well-being when going through a divorce
Try to separate amicably
If you put effort into making the divorce process run as smoothly as possible, this in turn will protect your children from unnecessary trauma. A big part of this involves staying amicable and treating one another with respect.
In practice, this involves putting any emotions aside and having serious discussions that centre around your children’s best interests. You may find it helpful to create action points and allocate timeframes so that everyone is held accountable when making decisions and sorting any paperwork.
Never speak ill of your partner in front of your children, as this puts them in a difficult situation and could make them feel as though they need to take sides.
Agree on custody rights and child contact
You and your ex-partner will need to determine what each person’s parental responsibilities will look like going forward. You’ll need to decide on a contact arrangement that outlines where the child will live and when they’ll see the parent they won’t be living with. These decisions should always be made with the children’s well-being in mind.
If you can’t decide between you, you can seek assistance through family mediation or with the help of a specialist divorce solicitor. In some cases, a Child Arrangement Order will need to be determined by the courts and this requires legal assistance.
Wherever possible, parents should try to determine their own arrangements without the need to go to court, as this could make the process less stressful.
Protect them from adult problems
Although you are no longer together, you are still parents with a duty to make sure your children feel loved and supported. Keep reminding your child that you love them and be honest with them where you feel it is appropriate to do so. In the meantime, maintain their usual routines so they feel less of the impact and can enjoy a sense of normality despite the change going on around them.
Make sure your children have regular contact with both parents so they feel equally loved despite the circumstances. Put any negative thoughts or feelings aside so that your child doesn’t feel influenced. For example, they shouldn’t be made to feel bad for seeing your partner.
While it’s important to be honest under the right circumstances, you should make the effort to conceal any internal struggles or stresses where possible, as this will only make them worry. Keep seeking support from friends and family or seek professional help to manage this.
Conclusion
Often, a divorce requires couples to seek legal advice where certain arrangements can’t be determined. A specialist divorce lawyer can support you through the process, offering guidance on both financial and child-related arrangements. This professional assistance can be invaluable in helping you navigate the complexities of divorce and move forward with confidence and clarity